Reprocessing Traumatic Memories: How EMDR Works

Episode 14 · Laurie Groh, MS LPC SAS with Kristen Holmes (therapist, Shoreside Therapies) · 2024-04-12

EMDR has been getting a lot of attention, and most people still don't know what it actually is. For this episode I sat down with Kristen Holmes, a therapist at Shoreside who works with children and adults on anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress. She had just finished her EMDR training, and she was generous enough to walk me through her own session.

Show notes

EMDR 101, in Kristen's words

EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. It was developed in the 1990s by Francine Shapiro.

Kristen's explanation: the research says bilateral stimulation helps calm an activated amygdala, the brain's safety center, the part that tells you to get out of the way of a car. Once that settles, you can access the thinking part of the brain, where new perspectives and problem solving live. If someone is in fight or flight, not much gets taken in.

One foot in the present, one in the past

Kristen described memory reprocessing as keeping one foot anchored in the present while the other goes into the past, from a safe place.

The bilateral stimulation is based on eye movement, the same thing our eyes do in REM sleep. Kristen said your brain keeps processing after the session, during sleep, much like it does when you learn anything new. It's not hypnosis. The comparison she likes is watching landscape go by from a car window. You see it move past you. You're not inside it.

I heard that as creating an observer. That little distance is what makes the material workable.

Kristen's own session: the dishes

In EMDR training, therapists go through the process themselves. They're told to pick something mildly distressing, a three or four on the SUDS scale (subjective units of distress), not an eight or nine. Kristen noted this is a shift from EMDR's early days, when clients reprocessed a list of traumatic memories one by one, which could be retraumatizing.

So what did she choose? Dishes.

Kristen lives in an old Milwaukee house with no dishwasher and a family of four. When dishes pile up, the walls feel like they're caving in. She gets irritable. She and her partner argue about it.

The image she brought up was walking in the back door and seeing dishes on every surface. She noticed the body sensations: tight chest, knot in her stomach, tension in her shoulders. Then she named the belief attached to it: I'm not enough. Not fast enough, not able to do it all, a therapist who does hard work with clients and comes home to a mess.

Then rounds of bilateral stimulation. Therapists can use their fingers moving back and forth, hand-held tappers, or a light. Her training was virtual, and she said there's research showing EMDR works well over telehealth.

By the end she'd gone from a four to a zero. Each round, the image got smaller and further away. The new belief she installed: I can accept that I have strengths and challenges, and one of those challenges is sometimes my dishes.

The next morning, the dishes were still there. She made her coffee in the middle of them and went to her training. They still bother her, but for practical reasons, and she can problem-solve instead of ruminating.

Dishes are one of mine too.

Why the dishes matter

That story is one I hear constantly in couples work. "Can you do the dishes?" is one request. "You never do them" is another. "You're selfish" makes the person the problem instead of the dishes. The fight starts with dishes and ends with unmet needs. EMDR gets underneath that layer.

What surprised me most

You don't have to narrate everything. Kristen said things came up in her session that she isn't sharing, and that was fine. EMDR isn't talk therapy. The therapist doesn't say "tell me more about that." They say "go with that" and run another round. For people who avoid therapy because they don't want to say it all out loud, that matters.

It can move faster. Kristen cited research from her training that 20 minutes of EMDR processing is comparable to roughly five hours of talk therapy. My reaction was "are you serious?" She added that with complex trauma, treatment is still long, because the brain is an onion and some layers are from before we had words. She described watching a training client connect a lifelong feeling of "I'm not seen" to being born early and waiting alone for adoptive placement, in a single session. That kind of shift usually takes dozens.

Who EMDR is for

Kristen said EMDR started as a trauma treatment, for PTSD and complex PTSD, but it's now being used for OCD, anxiety, depression, personality disorders, substance use, and relationship work.

She named two situations that need a conversation and medical clearance first: a history of seizures, because of the bilateral stimulation, and pregnancy, particularly the second trimester.

Key takeaways

1. EMDR uses bilateral stimulation to calm the brain's alarm system so the thinking brain can come back online.
2. You observe the memory from a distance rather than reliving it.
3. You don't have to say everything out loud for it to work.
4. Kristen's training session on dishes went from a four to a zero, and the dishes stopped meaning "I'm not enough."
5. It began as a trauma treatment, but Kristen sees it used for far more now.

If this one hit close to home

If you've been stuck on something that talking about hasn't moved, Kristen offers EMDR at Shoreside Therapies in Wisconsin and online in several other states, starting with a free initial phone consultation. Our intake coordinator will help you find the right fit, even if it isn't us.

More on this topic: Mental Health Tools hub · What Is EMDR Therapy? · Healing Trauma Without Talking · You Know Why You Do It: EMDR with Kristen Holmes

This episode is for education and entertainment. It is not therapy and does not create a therapeutic relationship. Hosted by Laurie Groh, MS, LPC, SAS.